How do I stop "Do you want to add this person to messenger" popups

Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person 
to messenger".
This is getting very, very annoying.
How do I turn this "feature" off?
I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I 
can turn it on when that time comes.
0
Utf
3/10/2010 11:56:01 AM
windows.live.messenger 427 articles. 1 followers. Follow

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Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!

What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here, 
under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other 
people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.

Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot 
uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status 
and send me messages".

"Tony" wrote:

> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person 
> to messenger".
> This is getting very, very annoying.
> How do I turn this "feature" off?
> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I 
> can turn it on when that time comes.
0
Utf
3/11/2010 12:54:01 AM
Hi,

DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option off 
(and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will 
automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.

So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on 
your contact list.

-- 
Jonathan Kay
Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
(c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
--


"AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
> Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
>
> What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
> under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
> people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
>
> Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
> uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
> and send me messages".
>
> "Tony" wrote:
>
>> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
>> to messenger".
>> This is getting very, very annoying.
>> How do I turn this "feature" off?
>> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
>> can turn it on when that time comes. 


0
Jonathan
3/12/2010 9:15:26 AM
Ok, I read you loud and clear about NOT unchecking that box and I understand 
the reason why.  But surely there must be some way to silence these incoming 
requests that I get all day from bogus sources... right?  I haven't found 
anything in Preferences that would seem to affect this so I'm assuming it is 
a Permissions thing buried somewhere in my profile settings online.

"Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:

> Hi,
> 
> DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option off 
> (and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will 
> automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.
> 
> So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on 
> your contact list.
> 
> -- 
> Jonathan Kay
> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> --
> 
> 
> "AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
> > Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
> >
> > What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
> > under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
> > people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
> >
> > Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
> > uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
> > and send me messages".
> >
> > "Tony" wrote:
> >
> >> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
> >> to messenger".
> >> This is getting very, very annoying.
> >> How do I turn this "feature" off?
> >> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
> >> can turn it on when that time comes. 
> 
> 
> .
> 
0
Utf
3/12/2010 4:49:01 PM
Hi,

There is no way in Messenger today (nor in previous versions) to stop add requests.  I've 
been working on a few approaches to help with this but haven't really had time to get beyond 
the prototype stage.

-- 
Jonathan Kay
Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
(c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
--


"Barkingshins" <Barkingshins@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
news:75D4B1B1-0F92-449C-BD8E-98B29331055D@microsoft.com...
> Ok, I read you loud and clear about NOT unchecking that box and I understand
> the reason why.  But surely there must be some way to silence these incoming
> requests that I get all day from bogus sources... right?  I haven't found
> anything in Preferences that would seem to affect this so I'm assuming it is
> a Permissions thing buried somewhere in my profile settings online.
>
> "Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:
>
>> Hi,
>>
>> DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option 
>> off
>> (and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will
>> automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.
>>
>> So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on
>> your contact list.
>>
>> -- 
>> Jonathan Kay
>> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
>> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
>> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
>> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
>> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
>> --
>>
>>
>> "AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
>> news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
>> > Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
>> >
>> > What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
>> > under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
>> > people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
>> >
>> > Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
>> > uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
>> > and send me messages".
>> >
>> > "Tony" wrote:
>> >
>> >> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
>> >> to messenger".
>> >> This is getting very, very annoying.
>> >> How do I turn this "feature" off?
>> >> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
>> >> can turn it on when that time comes.
>>
>>
>> .
>> 

0
Jonathan
3/13/2010 8:46:43 AM
Ah, that stinks. This has been an ongoing issue for the past couple months, I get a few a day and it is really annoying. Are you guys receiving the messages when the "report this contact" box is checked when denying a new contact request?
Can you find out who the spammer is and block their ip's?
0
Onelowder (1)
3/13/2010 4:33:35 PM
how utterly annoying! this never happens in my skype of yahoo.. ya'd think if 
I have  WM set not to  "show my status on the web" then nobody should be able 
to locate me.. wondering if hotmail has a glitch and is making us all 
public.. >:
-- 
What if our now.. never went away?


"Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:

> Hi,
> 
> There is no way in Messenger today (nor in previous versions) to stop add requests.  I've 
> been working on a few approaches to help with this but haven't really had time to get beyond 
> the prototype stage.
> 
> -- 
> Jonathan Kay
> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> --
> 
> 
> "Barkingshins" <Barkingshins@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> news:75D4B1B1-0F92-449C-BD8E-98B29331055D@microsoft.com...
> > Ok, I read you loud and clear about NOT unchecking that box and I understand
> > the reason why.  But surely there must be some way to silence these incoming
> > requests that I get all day from bogus sources... right?  I haven't found
> > anything in Preferences that would seem to affect this so I'm assuming it is
> > a Permissions thing buried somewhere in my profile settings online.
> >
> > "Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:
> >
> >> Hi,
> >>
> >> DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option 
> >> off
> >> (and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will
> >> automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.
> >>
> >> So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on
> >> your contact list.
> >>
> >> -- 
> >> Jonathan Kay
> >> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> >> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> >> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> >> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> >> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> >> --
> >>
> >>
> >> "AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> >> news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
> >> > Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
> >> >
> >> > What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
> >> > under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
> >> > people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
> >> >
> >> > Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
> >> > uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
> >> > and send me messages".
> >> >
> >> > "Tony" wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
> >> >> to messenger".
> >> >> This is getting very, very annoying.
> >> >> How do I turn this "feature" off?
> >> >> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
> >> >> can turn it on when that time comes.
> >>
> >>
> >> .
> >> 
> 
> .
> 
0
Utf
3/19/2010 3:02:03 PM
Busy you may have been - but if this has been going on in previous versions 
its taking a long time and perhaps its not a priority because nobody is 
complaining, but then I wont be the first person who has been frustrated by 
searching for the innocuous dialogue title which is something like "welcome 
to windows live messenger" 
The problem may have existed in previous versions, but I have been using it 
for many years and not really noticed the problem, it may be that a piece of 
code has been broken, because something has aided the failure to burden users 
with this unwanted spam.

I am actually questioning why I need Windows Live at the moment because this 
is so irritating, and lets face it I can message my Windows Live/MSN 
Messenger  contacts through a number of other multiprotocol clients - take a 
look at wikipedia "Comparison of instant messaging clients"

"Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:

> Hi,
> 
> There is no way in Messenger today (nor in previous versions) to stop add requests.  I've 
> been working on a few approaches to help with this but haven't really had time to get beyond 
> the prototype stage.
> 
> -- 
> Jonathan Kay
> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> --
> 
> 
> "Barkingshins" <Barkingshins@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> news:75D4B1B1-0F92-449C-BD8E-98B29331055D@microsoft.com...
> > Ok, I read you loud and clear about NOT unchecking that box and I understand
> > the reason why.  But surely there must be some way to silence these incoming
> > requests that I get all day from bogus sources... right?  I haven't found
> > anything in Preferences that would seem to affect this so I'm assuming it is
> > a Permissions thing buried somewhere in my profile settings online.
> >
> > "Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:
> >
> >> Hi,
> >>
> >> DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option 
> >> off
> >> (and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will
> >> automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.
> >>
> >> So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on
> >> your contact list.
> >>
> >> -- 
> >> Jonathan Kay
> >> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> >> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> >> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> >> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> >> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> >> --
> >>
> >>
> >> "AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> >> news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
> >> > Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
> >> >
> >> > What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
> >> > under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
> >> > people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
> >> >
> >> > Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
> >> > uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
> >> > and send me messages".
> >> >
> >> > "Tony" wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
> >> >> to messenger".
> >> >> This is getting very, very annoying.
> >> >> How do I turn this "feature" off?
> >> >> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
> >> >> can turn it on when that time comes.
> >>
> >>
> >> .
> >> 
> 
> .
> 
0
Utf
3/20/2010 8:08:06 AM
If Microsoft is too busy to do something about this they are going to loose a 
lot of users of Messenger. They will have to add an option to suppress these 
notifications sooner or later (or even better stop the spammers from sending 
them). Microsoft should prioritize this. As has already been said, there are 
lots of other IM products out there.

Jonathon, can you give an update on what Microsoft's stance is on this?

"Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:

> Hi,
> 
> There is no way in Messenger today (nor in previous versions) to stop add requests.  I've 
> been working on a few approaches to help with this but haven't really had time to get beyond 
> the prototype stage.
> 
> -- 
> Jonathan Kay
> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> --
> 
> 
> "Barkingshins" <Barkingshins@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> news:75D4B1B1-0F92-449C-BD8E-98B29331055D@microsoft.com...
> > Ok, I read you loud and clear about NOT unchecking that box and I understand
> > the reason why.  But surely there must be some way to silence these incoming
> > requests that I get all day from bogus sources... right?  I haven't found
> > anything in Preferences that would seem to affect this so I'm assuming it is
> > a Permissions thing buried somewhere in my profile settings online.
> >
> > "Jonathan Kay [MVP]" wrote:
> >
> >> Hi,
> >>
> >> DO NOT uncheck this especially if you're getting spam requests.  By turning this option 
> >> off
> >> (and the reason why it's grayed out with that option), is that unchecking this will
> >> automatically add anyone who requests you to your contact list.
> >>
> >> So basically if you uncheck this option, you'll end up with a list of spammers/scammers on
> >> your contact list.
> >>
> >> -- 
> >> Jonathan Kay
> >> Microsoft MVP - Windows Live Messenger
> >> MSN Messenger/Windows Messenger
> >> MessengerGeek Blog: http://www.messengergeek.com
> >> Messenger Resources: http://messenger.jonathankay.com
> >> (c) 2010 Jonathan Kay - If redistributing, you must include this signature or citation
> >> --
> >>
> >>
> >> "AlfCheesey" <AlfCheesey@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> >> news:BB165972-DF7B-4F48-A3AE-DEC0188092CC@microsoft.com...
> >> > Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy!
> >> >
> >> > What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here,
> >> > under Contact Lists  you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other
> >> > people add me to their contact list". You want to uncheck this.
> >> >
> >> > Unfortunately, for some reason, my check box is greyed out, and I cannot
> >> > uncheck it, unless I uncheck "Only people on my Allow List can see my status
> >> > and send me messages".
> >> >
> >> > "Tony" wrote:
> >> >
> >> >> Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person
> >> >> to messenger".
> >> >> This is getting very, very annoying.
> >> >> How do I turn this "feature" off?
> >> >> I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I
> >> >> can turn it on when that time comes.
> >>
> >>
> >> .
> >> 
> 
> .
> 
0
Utf
3/27/2010 12:41:01 AM
I'd just like to add my 2c in this and say this is beyond annoying .... 
I should just be able to set an option that makes me invisible to all
but my contacts.  If people have my email address, the request should
come through there because the spam catcher in will toss em out... (i
guess?)

I only use it to get to my hotmail - anyone know of an alternative I can
sit in my task bar that can log me into hotmail?


-- 
ptrubs
0
ptrubs
3/28/2010 7:40:36 PM
ptrubs, if you use firefox, get the webmail notifier plugin, it sits in your browser and tells you when or how many emails you have.

I'm getting ready to ditch messenger and move to googlechat. I only use msn for 2 or 3 contacts, and will notify them I'm changing. I'm sick of getting 2 or 3 spam add contacts a day. What do you have to say for yourself Jonathan Kay? If google can control their spam, why can't you? Or at least fix this add contact prompt so it can be disabled?
0
unsatisfied
3/28/2010 8:20:51 PM
I agree with this thread - i'm getting a couple a day and its starting to really peeve me.  MS - please fix!
0
Michael
3/29/2010 8:23:27 PM
Several a day here also - surely Microsoft can do better thant this? 
0
Utf
4/1/2010 3:36:01 AM
Yep...this is terrible...I'm giving it another week and then dumping 
Messenger all together. I don't ANYONE to be able to add me. I have my family 
on there and that's it. It feels like I'm a bit vulernable when trollers can 
simply see me and try to add me. A simple "do not make my account visible" 
box should be available.

I know it's a free app....so hard to complain to Microsoft...but considering 
they run my world on the PC, I wouldn't think they would want folks looking 
elsewhere right now.

"Onelowder" wrote:

> Ah, that stinks. This has been an ongoing issue for the past couple months, I get a few a day and it is really annoying. Are you guys receiving the messages when the "report this contact" box is checked when denying a new contact request?
> Can you find out who the spammer is and block their ip's?
> 
> ---
> frmsrcurl: http://msgroups.net/microsoft.public.windows.live.messenger/How-do-I-stop-Do-you-want-to-add-this-person-to-messenge
> .
> 
0
Utf
4/3/2010 1:56:01 PM
Reply:

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How do I stop "Do you want to add this person to messenger" popups
Several times a week I'm getting popups, asking if I want to "add this person to messenger". This is getting very, very annoying. How do I turn this "feature" off? I know when someone I actually care about is going to add me to messenger, I can turn it on when that time comes. Several times a week? I get it many times a day, and it's driving me crazy! What you are supposed to do is go to Tools -> Options -> Privacy. Here, under Contact Lists you will find a check box saying "Alert me when other people add me to their contact list". Y...