Hopefully someone here can tell me I'm an idiot and there is an easy solution 
to this. 

I'm unable to get the SSP running in Sharepoint.  While searching around 
I've found quite a few places where people are runnig into the same error, 
but no definite solution.

I suspected this has something to do with permissions between the SQL and 
MOSS servers, but I've gone through all the account requirements in the 
prerequisites and I can't find what I've done wrong.

I'm running MOSS 2007 in the test lab on 2008 server (SRV04) in a Hyper-V 
virtual environment with an Exchange 2007 server (SRV03) and a SQL 2008 
server (SRV05).  

I repeatedly receive the following event.

Log Name:      Application
Source:        Office SharePoint Server
Date:          04/13/2010 11:01:45 AM
Event ID:      7888
Task Category: Office Server General
Level:         Error
Keywords:      Classic
User:          N/A
Computer:      SRV04
Description:
A runtime exception was detected. Details follow. 
Message: Access is denied. (Exception from HRESULT: 0x80070005 
(E_ACCESSDENIED))

Techinal Details:
System.UnauthorizedAccessException: Access is denied. (Exception from 
HRESULT: 0x80070005 (E_ACCESSDENIED))
   at 
Microsoft.SharePoint.SPGlobal.HandleUnauthorizedAccessException(UnauthorizedAccessException ex)
   at Microsoft.SharePoint.Library.SPRequest.ApplyTheme(String bstrUrl, 
String pVal)
   at Microsoft.SharePoint.SPWeb.ApplyTheme(String strNewTheme)
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.ProvisionAdministrationSite()
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.ISharedComponent.Install()
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.Provision()
Event Xml:
<Event xmlns="http://schemas.microsoft.com/win/2004/08/events/event">
  <System>
    <Provider Name="Office SharePoint Server" />
    <EventID Qualifiers="0">7888</EventID>
    <Level>2</Level>
    <Task>1516</Task>
    <Keywords>0x80000000000000</Keywords>
    <TimeCreated SystemTime="2010-04-13T17:01:45.000Z" />
    <EventRecordID>145760</EventRecordID>
    <Channel>Application</Channel>
    <Computer>BR01SRV04.CU40428.local</Computer>
    <Security />
  </System>
  <EventData>
    <Data>Access is denied. (Exception from HRESULT: 0x80070005 
(E_ACCESSDENIED))</Data>
    <Data>System.UnauthorizedAccessException: Access is denied. (Exception 
from HRESULT: 0x80070005 (E_ACCESSDENIED))
   at 
Microsoft.SharePoint.SPGlobal.HandleUnauthorizedAccessException(UnauthorizedAccessException ex)
   at Microsoft.SharePoint.Library.SPRequest.ApplyTheme(String bstrUrl, 
String pVal)
   at Microsoft.SharePoint.SPWeb.ApplyTheme(String strNewTheme)
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.ProvisionAdministrationSite()
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.ISharedComponent.Install()
   at 
Microsoft.Office.Server.Administration.SharedResourceProvider.Provision()</Data>
  </EventData>
</Event>

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Try the KB 934838, this should resolve the issue.
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{\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252\deff0\deflang16393{\fonttbl{\f0\fnil\fprq2\fcharset0 MS Sans Serif;}}
\viewkind4\uc1\pard\f0\fs20 Try the KB 934838, this should resolve the issue.
\par 
\par }
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