Why can't I open any email jokes that friends send me with excel

I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
can't open them why?
0
Leona (5)
5/27/2007 8:54:00 PM
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1.   Do you have Microsoft Excel installed on your computer?

2.   What is the extension of the attachments with the jokes?

Is it   somejoke.XLS  ?

I never heard of Excel being a joke transporter but who knows?


Gord Dibben  MS Excel MVP

On Sun, 27 May 2007 13:54:00 -0700, Leona <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
wrote:

>I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
>can't open them why?

0
Gord
5/27/2007 9:08:51 PM
Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on 
the L & G lists.

-- 
Don Guillett
SalesAid Software
dguillett1@austin.rr.com
"Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
>I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> can't open them why? 

0
dguillett1 (2487)
5/27/2007 9:15:42 PM

"Leona" wrote:

> I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
> can't open them why?

I didn't get an answer  to my question....
0
Leona (5)
5/27/2007 9:16:01 PM
>I never heard of Excel being a joke transporter but who knows?

It's used for *everything* else, so why not? <g>

Biff

"Gord Dibben" <gorddibbATshawDOTca> wrote in message 
news:8msj539lg45i23r5b37q4n6q96e3j6jfbf@4ax.com...
> 1.   Do you have Microsoft Excel installed on your computer?
>
> 2.   What is the extension of the attachments with the jokes?
>
> Is it   somejoke.XLS  ?
>
> I never heard of Excel being a joke transporter but who knows?
>
>
> Gord Dibben  MS Excel MVP
>
> On Sun, 27 May 2007 13:54:00 -0700, Leona 
> <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
> wrote:
>
>>I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
>>can't open them why?
> 


0
biffinpitt (3172)
5/27/2007 9:20:02 PM
You got at least one from me.

Gord

On Sun, 27 May 2007 14:16:01 -0700, Leona <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
wrote:

>
>
>"Leona" wrote:
>
>> I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
>> can't open them why?
>
>I didn't get an answer  to my question....

0
Gord
5/27/2007 9:28:04 PM

"Gord Dibben" wrote:

> 1.   Do you have Microsoft Excel installed on your computer?
> 
> 2.   What is the extension of the attachments with the jokes?
> 
> Is it   somejoke.XLS  ?
> 
> I never heard of Excel being a joke transporter but who knows?

Thank you for your reply, and yes I have Microsoft Excel installed.

I'm not sure what you mean by the extension of the attachments with the jokes?
> 
> 
> Gord Dibben  MS Excel MVP
> 
> On Sun, 27 May 2007 13:54:00 -0700, Leona <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
> wrote:
> 
> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
> >can't open them why?
> 
> 
0
Leona (5)
5/27/2007 9:40:00 PM
The emails must have an attachment that you are asked to open with Excel or are
you being directed to a website?

File extension is the three letters after the dot in the filename.

mywords.TXT

mypicture.JPG

exceljoke.XLS

Extensions denote which application must be used to open the file.

Check yours and post back with details.


Gord

On Sun, 27 May 2007 14:40:00 -0700, Leona <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
wrote:

>
>
>"Gord Dibben" wrote:
>
>> 1.   Do you have Microsoft Excel installed on your computer?
>> 
>> 2.   What is the extension of the attachments with the jokes?
>> 
>> Is it   somejoke.XLS  ?
>> 
>> I never heard of Excel being a joke transporter but who knows?
>
>Thank you for your reply, and yes I have Microsoft Excel installed.
>
>I'm not sure what you mean by the extension of the attachments with the jokes?
>> 
>> 
>> Gord Dibben  MS Excel MVP
>> 
>> On Sun, 27 May 2007 13:54:00 -0700, Leona <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com>
>> wrote:
>> 
>> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I 
>> >can't open them why?
>> 
>> 

0
Gord
5/27/2007 9:49:52 PM
Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can 
answer yours.

If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS 
POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out 
the problem.

Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.

"Don Guillett" wrote:

> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on 
> the L & G lists.
> 
> -- 
> Don Guillett
> SalesAid Software
> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> > can't open them why? 
> 
> 
0
Mo2 (12)
5/27/2007 10:21:00 PM
Mo2

From Encarta...................

gib�bon [g�bb?n]
(plural gib�bons) 

long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
Southeast Asia. 
Genus: Hylobates 

The agile part does not describe me at all<g>


Gord Dibben

Microsoft� Encarta� 2006. � 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
reserved.


On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:

>Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can 
>answer yours.
>
>If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS 
>POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out 
>the problem.
>
>Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
>
>"Don Guillett" wrote:
>
>> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on 
>> the L & G lists.
>> 
>> -- 
>> Don Guillett
>> SalesAid Software
>> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
>> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
>> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
>> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
>> > can't open them why? 
>> 
>> 

0
Gord
5/28/2007 12:06:34 AM
Thanks!  I'll think of you as swinging from trees from now on.   <vbg>


"Gord Dibben" wrote:

> Mo2
> 
> From Encarta...................
> 
> gib·bon [gíbb?n]
> (plural gib·bons) 
> 
> long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
> allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
> Southeast Asia. 
> Genus: Hylobates 
> 
> The agile part does not describe me at all<g>
> 
> 
> Gord Dibben
> 
> Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
> reserved.
> 
> 
> On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:
> 
> >Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can 
> >answer yours.
> >
> >If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS 
> >POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out 
> >the problem.
> >
> >Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
> >
> >"Don Guillett" wrote:
> >
> >> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on 
> >> the L & G lists.
> >> 
> >> -- 
> >> Don Guillett
> >> SalesAid Software
> >> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
> >> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
> >> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
> >> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> >> > can't open them why? 
> >> 
> >> 
> 
> 
0
5/28/2007 1:10:02 AM
Too old for any other type of swinging<g>


Gord

On Sun, 27 May 2007 18:10:02 -0700, Barb Reinhardt
<BarbReinhardt@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:

>Thanks!  I'll think of you as swinging from trees from now on.   <vbg>
>
>
>"Gord Dibben" wrote:
>
>> Mo2
>> 
>> From Encarta...................
>> 
>> gib�bon [g�bb?n]
>> (plural gib�bons) 
>> 
>> long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
>> allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
>> Southeast Asia. 
>> Genus: Hylobates 
>> 
>> The agile part does not describe me at all<g>
>> 
>> 
>> Gord Dibben
>> 
>> Microsoft� Encarta� 2006. � 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
>> reserved.
>> 
>> 
>> On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:
>> 
>> >Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can 
>> >answer yours.
>> >
>> >If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS 
>> >POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out 
>> >the problem.
>> >
>> >Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
>> >
>> >"Don Guillett" wrote:
>> >
>> >> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on 
>> >> the L & G lists.
>> >> 
>> >> -- 
>> >> Don Guillett
>> >> SalesAid Software
>> >> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
>> >> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message 
>> >> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
>> >> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
>> >> > can't open them why? 
>> >> 
>> >> 
>> 
>> 

0
Gord
5/28/2007 1:46:21 AM
The only true brachiator--according to an anthropology professor I had back in
the dark ages.



Gord Dibben wrote:
> 
> Mo2
> 
> From Encarta...................
> 
> gib�bon [g�bb?n]
> (plural gib�bons)
> 
> long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
> allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
> Southeast Asia.
> Genus: Hylobates
> 
> The agile part does not describe me at all<g>
> 
> Gord Dibben
> 
> Microsoft� Encarta� 2006. � 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
> reserved.
> 
> On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:
> 
> >Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can
> >answer yours.
> >
> >If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS
> >POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out
> >the problem.
> >
> >Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
> >
> >"Don Guillett" wrote:
> >
> >> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on
> >> the L & G lists.
> >>
> >> --
> >> Don Guillett
> >> SalesAid Software
> >> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
> >> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> >> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
> >> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> >> > can't open them why?
> >>
> >>

-- 

Dave Peterson
0
petersod (12004)
5/28/2007 2:09:57 AM
Similar situation : 
Mom why I can not open this door ?
The Mom  told the kid every possible answer : trying pulling or pushing, 
check if is lock and get the key, tried harder, I'm sure you can do it. If 
not, call me I'm sure as hell I will open it for you. No Mom, the question is 
why my father order me " you can't open that door"!!!
Like our friend said : you have to provide more info..........maybe that's 
your friends'joke : they don't want you to open it. Regards
"Dave Peterson" wrote:

> The only true brachiator--according to an anthropology professor I had back in
> the dark ages.
> 
> 
> 
> Gord Dibben wrote:
> > 
> > Mo2
> > 
> > From Encarta...................
> > 
> > gib·bon [gíbb?n]
> > (plural gib·bons)
> > 
> > long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
> > allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
> > Southeast Asia.
> > Genus: Hylobates
> > 
> > The agile part does not describe me at all<g>
> > 
> > Gord Dibben
> > 
> > Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
> > reserved.
> > 
> > On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:
> > 
> > >Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can
> > >answer yours.
> > >
> > >If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS
> > >POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out
> > >the problem.
> > >
> > >Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
> > >
> > >"Don Guillett" wrote:
> > >
> > >> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on
> > >> the L & G lists.
> > >>
> > >> --
> > >> Don Guillett
> > >> SalesAid Software
> > >> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
> > >> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> > >> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
> > >> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> > >> > can't open them why?
> > >>
> > >>
> 
> -- 
> 
> Dave Peterson
> 
0
FC1 (15)
5/29/2007 12:23:04 PM
Or the kid who asked his mom "where did I come from?"

The mother spends 45 minutes giving a birds and bees lecture.

The kid responds with:  Oh, Jimmy came from Dallas.



FC wrote:
> 
> Similar situation :
> Mom why I can not open this door ?
> The Mom  told the kid every possible answer : trying pulling or pushing,
> check if is lock and get the key, tried harder, I'm sure you can do it. If
> not, call me I'm sure as hell I will open it for you. No Mom, the question is
> why my father order me " you can't open that door"!!!
> Like our friend said : you have to provide more info..........maybe that's
> your friends'joke : they don't want you to open it. Regards
> "Dave Peterson" wrote:
> 
> > The only true brachiator--according to an anthropology professor I had back in
> > the dark ages.
> >
> >
> >
> > Gord Dibben wrote:
> > >
> > > Mo2
> > >
> > > From Encarta...................
> > >
> > > gib·bon [gíbb?n]
> > > (plural gib·bons)
> > >
> > > long-armed ape: a small tree-dwelling ape with a slender body and long arms that
> > > allow it to swing rapidly and agilely from branch to branch. Native to:
> > > Southeast Asia.
> > > Genus: Hylobates
> > >
> > > The agile part does not describe me at all<g>
> > >
> > > Gord Dibben
> > >
> > > Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights
> > > reserved.
> > >
> > > On Sun, 27 May 2007 15:21:00 -0700, Mo2 <Mo2@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Leona, i think you should answer all of Gibbon's questions before he can
> > > >answer yours.
> > > >
> > > >If you want anybody to help you, you must give AS MUCH INFORMATION AS
> > > >POSSIBLE, that you can think of giving..that 'may' be helpful to finding out
> > > >the problem.
> > > >
> > > >Tell us exactly what you're doing, and what happens wrong, in detail please.
> > > >
> > > >"Don Guillett" wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Its because Excel is only for serious work except, of course, on Fridays on
> > > >> the L & G lists.
> > > >>
> > > >> --
> > > >> Don Guillett
> > > >> SalesAid Software
> > > >> dguillett1@austin.rr.com
> > > >> "Leona" <Leona@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message
> > > >> news:B2BA1A27-33DA-48DE-B801-5D96885B4D6E@microsoft.com...
> > > >> >I get email from friends that send me jokes to open with micro excel and I
> > > >> > can't open them why?
> > > >>
> > > >>
> >
> > --
> >
> > Dave Peterson
> >

-- 

Dave Peterson
0
petersod (12004)
5/29/2007 12:32:04 PM
Reply:

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Good Day All, I am using Exchange server 200 and Outlook 2003 mail client. I have started to experience with a single machine where all of a sudden reading emails with attachments of any size, even 6k, slows greatly. Just selecting the email item in the list takes at least 30 seconds before the lower pane shows the body of the selected item. No other client has the same problem even while this machine does. The problem seems to disappear at some point and then returns. The machine was connected to a 10Mbps switch so I changed to a 100Mbps switch and Event logs reveal nothing. I have ...

Need an open house sign in sheet
Need an open house sign in sheet That's interesting, but do you have a question about Publisher? -- James Bart: "According to creationism, there were no cavemen." Homer: "Well good riddance, their drawings sucked and they all looked like hippies!" "soozeeque" <soozeeque@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote in message news:1096B15B-9766-4573-9FC2-2053BEC1F34B@microsoft.com... > Need an open house sign in sheet I would suggest keeping it simple. Use a table for the visitors' information and maybe your real estate company's logo...

opening links
Whenever I try to open a link in Outlook XP -- (Win XP Pro) it opens a "open with" prompt/box. Point it to the .exe for your preferred browser and click okay. --� Milly Staples [MVP - Outlook] Post all replies to the group to keep the discussion intact. Due to the Swen virus, all e-mails sent to my actual account will be deleted w/out reading. After searching google.groups.com and finding no answer anonymous@discussions.microsoft.com <anonymous@discussions.microsoft.com> asked: | Whenever I try to open a link in Outlook XP -- (Win XP | Pro) it opens a "open with&quo...

Update complete excel file online
Dear all, Hope you can help me with this problem. An excel file is updated on a daily basis and can only be found on the internet. The basic format of this file is always the same, the only changing aspect is the data. How, or if even possible, could I implement something (e.g. a button?) which automatically implements the updated sheet from the Internet. I am really looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks a lot and best regards, ...

SheetName (Application.Caller.Parent.Name) Forces Excel to Save File
I have a VBA function in Excel that I have been using for years that will display the sheet name in a cell. The VBA function is as follows: Function SheetName() As String Application.Volatile SheetName = Application.Caller.Parent.Name End Function This works great. However, I have found that if I am using this function if I open a worksheet and not change anything Excel will prompt me if I want to save the worksheet if I have not made any changes. Why is this happening and is there a way to prevent this from happening? Thanks, Mike The problem may be Application.Volitile If ...

cannot open excel file from outlook
Excel 2007 cannot open document eithout first saving and opening thru excel Try to re-register Excel. Close Excel first and On the Windows Taskbar Start>Run "excel.exe /regserver"(no quotes)>OK. See the space between exe and /regserver You might have to designate a full path to excel.exe. In that case Start>Run "C:\yourpath\excel.exe" /regserver(quotes required)>OK Gord Dibben MS Excel MVP On Wed, 27 Jan 2010 11:38:12 -0800, Rick <Rick@discussions.microsoft.com> wrote: >Excel 2007 cannot open document eithout first savi...

unable to open your default mail folders...
I am running XP Pro and Office XP 2002. I currently use Outlook express on this PC but want to switch over to Outlook. When I try to open Outlook I get the message- Unable to open your default mail folders. Could not open item. Try again. Any ideas what's going on ??? Thanks in advance!!! -- Dennis Have you created a mail profile and installed your mail account(s)? -- Milly Staples [MVP - Outlook] Post all replies to the group to keep the discussion intact. ALWAYS post your Outlook version. How to ask a question: http://support.microsoft.com/KB/555375 After furious head scrat...

Workbook always opens at a specific sheet and cell
I have a workbook consisting of many sheets. How do I make sure that everytime I open the work book, it would directly point to a specific sheet and cell? Hi put the following code in your workbook module (not in a standard module). sub workbook_open() me.worksheets("sheetx").activate end sub -- Regards Frank Kabel Frankfurt, Germany Zee wrote: > I have a workbook consisting of many sheets. How do I make sure that > everytime I open the work book, it would directly point to a specific > sheet and cell? methinks the original poster also wanted to activate a particu...

Excel 2000 => upgraded to 2003 and Bar Chart Pattern disappeared
I have a bar chart composed of two bars each with a stacked series of bars. For one of my bars one of the stacked points was a pattern fill (slashes). Since my upgrade to Office 2003 the pattern fill for this one stacked bar has disappeared. I've upgraded to Office SP2 and still cannot set my fill pattern. I have had to set the fill to color white until I can get this pattern back. I have noticed that the Sample preview pane is not set when I select the pattern fill, gradient fill, etc. Is this a known problem? And is there a work around? Thanks, Donna L Bruce ...